


oh but darling, aren't you tired?

by emotional_roadshow



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2019-11-04 06:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17893193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emotional_roadshow/pseuds/emotional_roadshow
Summary: Life is Difficult, Difficult, Lemon, Difficult as Clarke would like to put it.Its been a hard year, and she can only hope that her first year at college in San Francisco will be the harbinger of good fortune.*ABANDONED WORK, UNFINISHED*





	1. Moving day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I had an old story that I deleted because I stopped being confident in it, and so I hope yall will be cool with me just trying to write for myself and hopefully a couple people like it along the way!

San Fran-Fucking-cisco. A bit much, yes? No.

 

It was a delightfully dreary day, just like Clarke preferred. Except it was August 22nd, the day before she had to be settled in at San Francisco State University. Now, this would've been fine in retrospect, but Clarke had overslept which meant that she had about-- after lifting up her phone and examining the screen-- 6 hours to get all of her boxes, alone, and put them in her dorm room.

 

Clarke honestly had never been good at planning, but this was a feat in it of itself, if she were to say so herself.

 

With a start, Clarke lifted her tired body from the confines of her make-shift mattress of scattered sheets on the floor and trudged her way to the bathroom. Her room had been packed up a couple days ago, much to her mother's insistence, and so the floor-bed came to be. Her feet dragged across the cold hardwood floors, her tanktop bunched up under her bust after her sleep. Stretching and yawning, she stepped onto the cold tile of the bathroom and hissed at the unpleasant temperature difference.

 

She started the water, pulling her hand away from the stream of water before it could splash her. Stripping, she hopped into the shower and washed the night away.

 

The slightly less warm bathroom, in comparison to the shower, made Clarke's frame shiver as she wrapped herself in a towel. Rushing out into the hallway while violently brushing her unruly hair out, Clarke threw whatever items of clothing on. Grabbing two boxes at a time, she carried her life into her car. It was an uncomfortable feeling that bloomed in her chest, loading her memories out of her childhood home. It felt like she wanted to hoard her memories, try and restore the things she felt as a child-- but this house had long ago stopped being her home.

 

The death of Clarke's father sent the Griffin family into a depression for some years, and that time was over now. Clarke and her mother's relationship grew frail, it was like dandelion seeds gripping their pod; it blew away quickly in the wind, as long as something was driving it apart. Her Mother, Abby Griffin, turned distant and was no longer the supportive mother she once was. It had gotten better, and Clarke hoped that moving out would help her mother find herself once again.

 

Her muscles tensed on instinct, trying to support the weight of all her stuff. Why did she have all of this again? She might as well throw it all away at this point.

 

The menial task had become mind-numbing, the repetitive actions drawing Clarke into herself. The jingling of Clarke's keys as she shut her trunk brought her back to reality, slowly drifting back to slide into the driver's seat of her car. It was only about an hour and with -- glancing to her car's radio-- 5 hours to go she would be fine, hopefully.

 

Before starting the car, Clarke grabbed her phone out of her sweatpants pocket and sent a quick text to her mother, who was working at the hospital. It was simple,

"Hey Mom, I just packed the rest of my stuff and left. I love you, have a good day. Call me later when you have the time, ok?", it read.

 

She punched the SFSU address into the Maps app and listened to the automated voices' directions, switching on her music. It was a playlist her friend had made her a while ago, random music that Clarke enjoyed but never really obsessed over. She was eclectic in music taste, liking whatever sounded good at the moment.

 

 The car screeched to a halt in the crowded parking lot, her music abruptly shut off as Clarke pulled the AUX cord out of her phone. The lot was packed, it took 5 minutes of driving to find a car that was pulling out of its spot, then she had to maneuver into the place, a surprisingly tricky task. There seemed to be a crowd of kids her age surrounding her, unsurprising because it was the move-in day. She snatched her worn down backpack form the passenger seat and re-checked her room number. 432, the highest floor of the freshman dorms. It was ideal if she was going to be honest. Opening her car door carefully as to not disturb the car next to hers, she got out and popped her trunk; met with a daunting amount of boxes, she sighed.

 

"HEY? YOU ALL ALONE OVER THERE OR WHAT?"

 

Clarke dismissed the annoying voice from behind her, assuming it was for someone adjacent to her.

 

"HEY, YOU! BLONDIE!" This, however, caught Clarke's attention. She turned around in the direction of the voice and raised her eyebrow, asking a silent question.

 

She was met with the vision of a stoner, or at least a stereotypical one. The scrawny boy stood a couple of feet in front of her, he was . . . Interesting to look at. He was probably her height, if not slightly taller and wore a pair of stupid worn down goggles on top of his head. What an absurd fashion statement, Clarke thought. Behind him a somewhat shorter Asian boy looked discombobulated, he tugged on his shouting friends jacket sleeve in what seemed to be an attempt at diffusing the situation.

 

"Yeah, I'm alone. Why do you care?" Clarke responded in a more appropriate volume of voice. Goggles kid smiled lazily, and his friend gazed at Clarke apologetically. More amused than anything else, Clarke didn't react when the boys walked closer until they were in front of her.

 

"The names Jordan, Jasper Jordan," Goggles kid introduced himself.

 

Clarke snorted.

 

"Hey! It wasn't funny, it was cool!" Jasper exclaimed, pouting.

"Hi! My name's Monty, and sadly I'm this doofus' friend. It's nice to meet you," Monty elbowed Jasper, clearly not putting up with his antics. They seemed close and fun, something Clarke could get used to.

 

"I'm Clarke, it's nice to meet you too," she tried to sound as polite as possible, somewhat afraid of scaring them away.

 

Jasper stuck out his hand, and Clarke shook it, it was weak but friendly. Repeating the motion with Monty, she got a firmer handshake.

 

"So you're all alone huh? Why is that?"

 

Monty looked like he was about to burst from anger, and Clarke she may have to step in before Monty did something he regretted.

 

"Hey! It's cool, trust me! My mom's working and she wasn't able to help me settle in so I'm doing it alone," the blonde interjected.

 

"Oh ok, well I got finished moving in earlier, and Jasper over here's just keeping me company. We wouldn't mind helping-" Monty kicked Jasper in the ankle accusingly, "-would we?" Jasper nodded.

 

Clarke wasn't all that surprised, but it was a pleasant turn of events.

 

"I would really appreciate it," she waved her hands towards her loaded car, " but I wouldn't want to ruin your evening,"

 

"No, No dude! It's cool, I did it all day with Monty anyways so it would be cool if we could help a cute girl and maybe get her number out of it." He winked.

 

"Yeah buddy, in your dreams,"


	2. an uneventful evening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a feeling this is gonna be a relatively short chapter, sorry but not really. I've wanted to write but haven't had the motivation. Hope you guys enjoy, and please interact if you like it (i.e leave a comment or give kudos if you're up to it) 
> 
> ok so i lied, i just finished writing and it is NOT as short as i thought it would be. have fun!

 

"NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! THAT"S PREPOSTEROUS! AN UTTER DISGRACE!,"

 

"I don't get what the big deal is, so what if people use hot water in their hot chocolate? Does it really matter?"

 

"Uh, DUH?? Milk is the obviously superior contender here, Clarke,"

 

"All I'm saying is that it doesn't matter what people want to put in their hot chocolate, but yes milk is better," Clarke was exasperated. This conversation between Jasper and her had gone on for around fifteen minutes, and that was just this topic. You wouldn't necessarily think that a chilled out stoner would have so many strong opinions, but Clarke quickly learned that she shouldn't have assumed that.

 

Jasper was a beacon of activity for petty, yet surprisingly well-articulated arguments over things that didn't matter. To name a few: pineapple on pizza, water in hot chocolate, and the oddball, a forty-minute discussion over animal cruelty. It was around- Clarke shifted to be able to see the clock in her dorm room- 1 AM. Jasper and Monty took refuge in Clarke's dorm promptly after helping her carry up all of her stuff, probably because Clarke's roommate still hadn't shown themselves after the deadline for today's move-in.

 

This wasn't too strange, a lot of kids probably chose to postpone moving in until the absolute last minute- family or whatever- Clarke supposed. Monty's roommate, however, had also decided to move in early, causing tension between the freeloading best friend and the roommate who actually had some claim to the room.

 

The two boys fell into hushed conversation beside Clarke, her small dorm accommodating all three of the people, but just. The bed was a twin, just as she expected. Staring into the window in between the two beds, Clarke's mind wandered as she looked at the streetlights flickering outside.

 

"Hey Clarke, do you believe in God?"

 

The bizarre question threw her off for a second, but she promptly responded.

 

"I don't not believe in God," responded Clarke, glancing back to gauge the boy's reaction.

 

Jasper analyzed her for a bit, and Monty looked about as nervous as Clarke felt.

 

"What if I told you that I've seen God?" Jasper looked intense, it was unnerving.

 

Monty moved quickly to physically pull back Jasper, sensing rising tension. Clarke couldn't understand how deeply the two cared for each other, but it was more profound than a simple friendship. There was more, the need to protect each other, even when something didn't necessarily threaten the other. She could definitely appreciate it, but she couldn't imagine having someone that she cared for so much that she wanted to be their safety- or maybe she could.

 

"I'd probably call bullshit, but I'm not going to judge you," Clarke didn't really have an opinion on religion, she had never felt a strong connection to the spiritual. She respected it, and any who actively worshipped something; she had to appreciate something that took so much faith. Faith came to Clarke like how meteors collided with the earth-not often.

 

"Hm. You have a point there," Jasper didn't seem fazed, and Monty visibly relaxed. Clarke smiled at him, just to reaffirm the mutual acceptance f each other. She couldn't say that she had ever met people as interesting as this pair, and if this was any sort of preview to the people she would meet n the future, well let's say that she'd never be bored.

 

The trio fell into a comfortable silence- which was then broken by a loud slam coming from the hallway. Startled, the group looked at each other and then Clarke slowly raised from her trashed bed- a side effect of the group sitting on it. Her legs wobbled under her weight, pins and needles reminding her that she was sitting on her legs. Uncomfortably shuffling towards her door, she reached towards the doorknob and hesitated. Was it really her business? Why should she check this out?

 

Her curiosity goaded her, and after a few moments passed she fell prey to them. Gripping the doorknob, she turned and heard the door click open. Sticking her head behind the sliver, it was open she caught a peek of a guy in her hallway. Gaining courage she looked farther, the boy slid down the wall.

 

Looking back at the boys behind her, they made strange faces at her. Jasper mouthed something, but with his overexaggerated motions and the dark, she wasn't able to make out anything he was trying to say. She shook her head and rolled her eyes, deciding to go a step further and stepped into the hallway. The guy didn't immediately acknowledge her, but he looked up at her, and she could see his puffy eyes and red nose. He was hugging his knees awkwardly, and his gaze made her uncomfortable. But it was fair because she was a stranger sticking her nose into some random person's business.

 

He was a gangly thing, taller than Jasper still, Clarke mused.

 

"This isn't a zoo, step off,"

 

Clarke widened her eyes at his direct comment but unintentionally snorted at his use of 'step off.' When was the last time anyone said that?

 

"Sorry, I heard a loud slam, and I just wanted to see if something happened out here. I, uh, see that everything's all good." She peered at the boy again.

 

"Yeah-" the boy lifted his fist to his nose and wiped the snot "- it's all good," He didn't sound convincing at all, but his tone was menacing nonetheless like he was daring her to disagree with him.

 

"That sounds like straight bullshit-"

 

"Hey! I am a very convincing liar!"

 

Clarke smiled and huffed, this guy was a piece of work, but there was no denying that he was pretty damned hilarious.

 

"Sure, if you say so. I know you have this whole 'brooding art kid' thing going for you, but how about you come into my already cramped dorm so you can look a little less stupid in this hallway."

 

"No."

 

"Yeah, C'mon, let's go," Clarke turned around, not watching to see if he would follow suit. It was like that thing where you don't let an aggressive animal know that you were afraid? Yeah, this was that.

 

She heard shuffling behind her, assuming that he had gathered himself from the floor she walked into her dorm and let the door swing open slightly behind her. Jasper and Monty scrambled back from the door, probably because they were listening in. They wore sheepish expressions, Clarke only smiled in return. She walked over to where she had her coffee maker and began to brew a pot. Finally turning around, she felt like this situation was giving her a headache.

 

 

Jasper and Monty were sitting on the edge of Clarke's small bed, the unnamed boy was awkwardly sitting on the floor.

 

 

"What's your name, because I think this is becoming an awkward silence," Clarke said and glared at the pair resting on the bed.

 

"Murphy," the boy responded and looked up at Clarke.

 

"Like a dog?"

 

That was the final straw. Jasper seemed to realize his mistake as Clarke speed-walked towards him. Monty moved aside, trying not to be caught in the crossfire of Clarke's ager. Arriving in front of Jasper, Clarke slapped him upside the head.

 

"That is not how we treat guests, Jasper."

 

"Man, you totally deserved that," looking over at Monty he was actually . . . Smiling. Actually, that was an understatement, he busted out laughing as Jasper rubbed his head.

 

Murphy seemed to be laughing too. Good, that was progress, Clarke was proud of herself. The machine behind her warbled, alerting Clarke that her coffee had been made.

 

"Ok Murphy, how do you like your coffee?"

 

"Some creamer and a fuck ton of sugar."

 

With some surprise, Clarke followed his instructions and then beckoned Murphy to come over and sit on Clarke's bed too. She handed him the warm mug of coffee, and he took a sip. Seemingly pleased, he melted further into the mattress. Smiling, Clarke looked over at Jasper and Monty who wore surprise on their faces. Monty was pleased as well, probably over the fact that he got o see his best friend be called out on his shit and that he would be making another friend.

 

"Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman? Who would win in a fight?" Monty blurted, smiling.

 

Murphy and Clarke looked a little taken aback at the sudden kindness but answered anyways.

 

"Wonder Woman all the way! What kind of superpower does Batman have? None," Clarke stated.

 

Jasper looked at her with a challenge blazing under his gaze.

 

"Oh HELL NO!"

 

And that's how the rest of the night went. The group was still unsure of each other but had a good time talking about the unimportant stuff. Eventually, they all passed out. Jasper and Clarke opted to sleep on the floor with a plethora of different blankets. Murphy and Monty occupied the two twin beds. It was strange, no doubt, having strangers sleep in your dorm but Clarke fell asleep with her chest feeling more full than it had in months. It was the beginning of the rest of her life, and she wasn't wasting it.

 

It was peaceful, well, until the next morning.

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

this isnt an update so im sorry but

i want to fucking stab god 

i probably wrote over 2000 words for a new chapter 

and my laptop shut down 

 

and its lost 

so fuck that fuck this fuck you fuck me and most of all

fuck my laptop!


	4. I see it, do you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in my last update, i said that my laptop crashed, and it did so im leaving that in. but im also just fucking speed re-writing the chapter so i can say that I did

Clarke was running.

 

Her legs pounded into the muddy forest floor underneath her. Her feet sunk into it with every step, the freezing air nipped at her skin. The trees passed by her, looming as they observed her futile efforts to escape. Their long branches reached out to her, grazing her flesh. The cuts they left stung intensely.  

 

Clarke was floating-- no. She was running. The trees didn't end. Where was she going?

 

The forest was foggy, her vision blocked after a few feet in front of her.

 

Her calves burned, her bare feet were bleeding. Her arms pumped forwards and backward. She shouldn't be able to run, she wasn't moving-- but she was. Her body moved of its own accord. 

 

Her mind ran faster than she ever could, the thoughts seemed to enter and leave her head in the same moment. Ideas coagulated, they thickened in her mind clogging her ability to think.

 

Her lungs protested her fast breathing, they reprimanded her by leaving her heaving for breath. The air burned its way into her throat, filling her lungs with reluctance. The air was thick cold all the way in and out.

 

Her pulse pounded in her ears

 

_**THUMP** _

 

_**THUMP** _

 

_**THUMP** _

 

Clarke's eyes opened as she jolted awake. Her dream quickly fizzled out of her memory and became nothing but a fleeting feeling. Cold settled in her lungs, but she didn't know from where.

 

She looked over at the door from where the sound came from and was met with a curious face. The girl was shorter than her by a couple of inches and had light brown hair with a kind face. There was a man behind her, they had similar features and the same hair and eye color. They were probably siblings or cousins, he looked older than her but not by much. He looked tired. 

 

The brown haired girl looked at the room in exasperation, probably because she had expected to meet her roommate today and instead she was met with that and three extra people. Clarke figured that the only way to keep any form of friendship she may have in the future with her roommate was to stand up now. and then work from there. 

 

Clarke began moving in the shroud of sheets, the pillows and blankets feeling suffocating. Feeling the eyes observing her every movement, she hesitated only slightly when she realized that at some point during the night she had removed her regular clothes and changed into short shorts and a tank top. She got up anyways, shivering slightly at the change in temperature and her bare legs got goosebumps. 

 

"Hi," said Clarke. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the girl sheepishly. She looked at the man behind her. Noticing, the guy smirked at her and she looked away with indifference. 

 

She turned to the boy that laid next to her and shoved him with her foot. He groaned slightly and then turned over. she shoved him harder this time, gaining his attention and he turned over to her, glaring. 

 

"What do you w--" Jasper had begun to say.

 

"Get the fuck up, Goggles," Clarke's voice held no room for argument. She wanted Jasper out of the dorm, to be fair it wasn't his fault that her roommate showed up but she needed to be decent. She didn't only need Jasper out, she needed Monty too and sadly, they were a packaged deal. Jasper slowly pushed himself up and off of the floor, dragging his feet all two steps towards the bed in which Monty was sleeping. 

 

"Hi, I guess we're roommates?" the brown haired girl asked and smiled lightly. She seemed nice, a little fake but nice nevertheless. The man behind her looked angry, or maybe annoyed was more accurate. He was holding two boxes but didn't seem to be straining to keep them up. 

 

Clarke was distracted by Jasper whispering to Monty behind her and heard shuffling as the boy got out of bed. 

 

"I guess we are," Clarke smiled at the girl. "This is already awkward, but to make it slightly less strange, What's your name?" 

 

"My name's Octavia Blake, what's yours?" 

 

"Clarke Griffin, it's nice to meet you." 

 

She heard Monty clear his throat behind her, and she turned to see if he had something to say. She was shocked that he had just woken up and yet still looked as cheerful as ever. Hmph, morning people. He looked at her and smiled, yawning and scratching the back of his head. 

 

"Hey, I'm sorry Clarke. We didn't mean to sleep over. We'll get out of your hair," Monty said in a rough voice, which was really the only thing that showed that he had just woken up. She smiled at him, she had managed to wrangle in some weird people over the night, but she wouldn't change it at all. 

 

"Don't worry about it, Monty! See you later," Clarke replied with the same amount of cheer that he had. 

 

"Hey! Why am I Goggles and he gets Monty!" Jasper exclaimed. Clarke rolled her eyes at his antics, but couldn't help the smile that made it's way to her face. Monty grunted as he pushed his best friend out of the door, and whispered a quick apology to the girl in the doorway. 

 

Octavia stepped in and to the side of the dorm to avoid the two boys, and the man behind her sidestepped away from the entryway into the hallway. Clarke watched the boys disappear into the hallway and then turned around to face the other boy in her dorn. Murphy slept peacefully, the light was barely touching his face but he didn't seem to mind. She really didn't want to wake him; if his eye bags were anyindicationn, he could really use some sleep.

 

"I'm sorry about this, I, uh, wasn't expecting you to come early but that's probably obvious," Clarke turned towards Octavia and said. 

 

"It's fine, just a . . . strange thing to open your dorm into," Octavia said with a huff and a smile. 

 

Clarke understood where she was coming from. It was her fault that she let all these people stay over, and Octavia was being great about. She could have had a roommate that reported her to the RA of the floor, but she didn't. Or hadn't, yet. Clarke appreciated it anyways. 

 

"So, which side do you want?" Clarke asked.

 

"Well, the right side seems to have an occupant so, I think I'll go left," Octavia's laugh was effervescent, it was light and used without any regulations. Clarke couldn't help but join in, and the man behind her began to move forward.

 

"This is my brother, Bellamy"

 

Clarke observed him. He wore a simple t-shirt and some jeans-- nothing fancy. He caught her gaze again. Smiling lightly, he stepped towards Calrke. 

 

"Hey-" Bellamy reached his hand out to Clarke "- I'm Bellamy," he said. 

 

She shook his hand firmly, he looked somewhat shocked at her grip but met her strength. His curly hair framed his face well, and she couldn't help but notice the light freckles that dusted his face. Letting go of his hand, she nodded at Octavia. 

 

They began to get to work, and Clarke just sat on her bed. It was only a few minutes after they stopped talking that Murphy opened his eyes. 

 

"Oh hey, You awake?" Clarke asked. A couple of feet away Bellamy was carrying in boxes for his sister and Octavia sat on the floor opening and sorting items. It seemed like an ungodly amount of stuff to Clarke. But she had brought almost nothing so COtavi would probably find somewhere to put all of her stuff. 

 

"No, I'm fucking sleepwalking," Murphy said and swung his legs over the bed. At least Clarke now knew that his mood wasn't just shitty for last night. But she found that she quite enjoyed his snarky nature.

 

His back was bent over so much it looked like it hurt, but he didn't seem to mind at all while he yawned deeply. They sat next to each other, and Clarke looked at Murphy. She saw him last night, obviously, but she hadn't _really_  looked at him. The light that spilled over his face was poetic, his eyes were warm. The light bounced off of them, their light blue color only amplified the Murphy she had met. They didn't know each other yet, but she knew they would be good friends. 

 

"Hey, Murphy. You can stay as long as you need but if you need to talk to someone, maybe whoever you fight with yesterday, that's okay too," Clarke hadn't brought this up at all last night, and she could tell that Murphy hadn't wanted her too. He glanced back at her, tensed, and sighed.

 

"Yeah, I know. I need to go talk to him," Murphy whispered. 

 

"I know it's hard, but I also know that ignoring your problems doesn't make them go away, no matter how hard you try," said Clarke. She decided to sprinkle in some advice, hoping that it would help him. Clarke was empathetic, she couldn't imagine that it was easy to argue with people, but Murphy's argument seemed personal. 

 

Murphy nodded at her and stood up. 

 

"But-," Clarke grinned "-You have to give me your number before you leave," she said. 

 

Murphy looked back at her and smirked, he pulled his phone from his back pocket ( had it been there all night? ) and opened his phone number. Clarke rushed to fill out the information in her contacts and promptly thanked him. 

 

"Thanks, Clarke, I appreciate it," Murphy said and waved at her before exiting out the door. He had to step awkwardly around Octavia but managed to avoid a collision between himself and Bellamy. Clarke could tell that Murphy had thanked her for last night, and she was only happy to help. 

 

Clarke decided that she should probably leave her roommate to her devices. She grabbed herself some random clothes from her boxes on the floor and slipped into their shared bathroom. She threw the sweater on over her tank top and shook off her shorts. She jumped into a pair of baggy jeans and left the bathroom. Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she grabbed her backpack with her laptop still in it and her wallet from the nightstand between the two beds. 

 

"It was nice meeting you Octavia," Clarke stepped over the smaller girls body and exited through the door. She looked back into the room where Bellamy and Octavia were, looking at the taller, curly-haired man. He looked back at her with the same intensity. He held some unidentifiable emotion behind his eyes, he looked like he was plotting. He looked interested, and Clark couldn't tell why. 

 

Clarke looked over to Octavia and smiled. The blonde winked at the brunette, and then closed the door behind her. She rushed down the stairs, holding her backpack and smiled. Her heart rushed with excitement as she took a deep breath in. This would finally be the year when she was free, whne she was happy. 

 

How will the universe welcome her, she wonders. 

 

 

 

 


	5. one of us is gonna lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've been doing everything to avoid school -- so have fun with this new chapter. I literally purged my closet and cleaned my whole house then took my dog to the park and god coffee. I figured its time to give yall an update.

The wind whipped against Clarke's face. Her hair blew into her face and mouth annoyingly, and she was powerless to stop it. with a grunt, she once again angrily brushed her Walking down the deserted San Francisco streets wasn't a new experience for her, but for some reason at around 5:30 pm the streets were unnervingly empty and the clouds above had begun to darken the sky. 

 

She's walked on her own plenty of times, and she knew the protocol. She clutched her keys in her hand tightly and hugged her jacket closer to her body. The coffee shop she yelped was a whopping two miles away from her dorm and for some stupid reason, she decided to walk it. In true Clarke fashion, she had got herself in a bit of a mess because she overestimated her abilities. She trudged on anyways, also in Clarke fashion. A shiver ripped through her body, and she watched her breath leave in a cloud past her lips. With a disapproving shake of her head, she looked up and realized the coffee shop, "The Ark", was a few steps ahead of her.

 

It was pretty, the entire storefront was glass. Warm lighting engulfed the inside and she could see that they only had a few customers. She picked up her pace slightly and stepped towards the door. 

 

She grabbed the handle and pulled. It didn't budge and she felt a flash of embarrassment course through her as she read the "push" label on the door, but she quickly recovered and stepped inside. The warmth and aroma of coffee invaded her senses and she paused in front of the entry. The jingling bells and door shutting behind her brought her back to her senses, but it was already too late. 

 

The shock of being knocked into almost threw her on her ass, and her skin burned like a motherfucker. She hissed loudly-- the skin on her chest contracted and was so hot it was unbearable. She recoiled, and only then had she noticed the brunette female who steadied her with her hands. She looked mortified, but Clarke could care less.

 

She dashed to the clearly labeled bathroom, unaware of the presence that hovered behind her. Her thoughts rushed in and out of her head, the pain made her thoughts swim and her reflection in the mirror was blurrier than usual. She threw the sweater off of her, and the burning sensation was toned down to a pulsing throb. 

 

Her mind stopped racing as she cleaned her sweater in the sink. Her tank top was also slightly covered in coffee, but she couldn't take that off. She finally looked up and saw the same girl in the doorway behind her-- how long had she been waiting there?

 

"I AM SO SORRY," the brunette exclaimed into Clarke's face. At least she apologized, she thought. 

 

"It's fine," Clarke's reply had been short and quiet, there wasn't any reason for her to get unreasonably angry, so the dismissive tone was what she could muster under the circumstances. 

 

The girl turned abruptly and walked away, which startled Clarke. Shaking her head, she focused back to the sink and the soapy sweater. What was she going to do with a wet sweater? 

 

As if the gods had heard her complain, the brunette barged back into the bathroom with a sweatshirt in hand. 

 

"I keep an extra shirt with me, you can wear it," 

 

"Thanks," Clarke looked at the girl's outstretched hand briefly and made a decision. Leaving the sopping sweater in the sink she turned and wiped her wet hands on her jeans. She grabbed the sweater from the girl's hands without looking her in the eye and she stepped into a stall. She stripped of her now cold tank top and pulled the sweater over her head. It was a plain red and grey striped sweater, it hung from her body in a typical oversized fashion. With her tank top in hand, she stepped out of the stall. 

 

To her surprise, the girl was still there. 

 

"Hey look, I am really sorry about that. Could I buy you a coffee as a peace offering?" The girl chuckled lightly and smiled sheepishly at Clarke. Clarke couldn't help but smile at the girl in front of her. 

 

"My name's Raven by the way,"

 

"Clarke," she outstretched her hand to Raven and they grasped hands firmly. She stepped towards the sink and halfheartedly wrung out her sweater. It would be fine, she guessed. She stepped out of the bathroom after Raven and decided that maybe a free coffee from a pretty girl was worth the sensitivity on her chest. Raven waited for her near the cashier, waving he rover, Raven asked her what she wanted to order. 

 

"Hmmm...." Clarke looked up at the menu and decided that she might as well get something she would enjoy if someone else was paying. 

 

"I'll get the Vanilla Hazelnut Latte with an extra shot of espresso," she looked over at Raven who had pulled out her wallet and whipped out her Ark stamp card and $5 in cash. 

 

"So, I was on my way out but I figure the least I can do is lend you my company," Raven looked at her from the side and smiled. 

 

"Yeah, -" Clarke winked, "it's the least you can do," she said. She turned around and searched the room for the perfect seating. She walked forward, sure that Raven would follow behind her. She sat down and gazed outside the clear window into the shining lights that popped up in the nighttime. 

 

Raven's chair screeched in front of her, and she glanced in her direction. She smiled and looked back at the city. 

 

It was a strange night, that was for sure. Somehow though, the nightlights whispered and wooed her. She knew all would be all right, or maybe she hoped. 

 

 

\---

 

 

Raven had turned out to be a great date-- well not a date per se, but a . . . friendly encounter. They talked endlessly about trivial things, and Clarke learned some interesting things like Raven's major and family background. They exchanged numbers in the end, and Raven made some joke about keeping away from hot beverages next time they happened to run into each other. It was cool, but now that Clarke was back at her dorm she really couldn't deny how strange the encounter had been. It's like people were just being shoved wildly into he life--is that normal? Is that just what happens once you go to college? 

 

Her footsteps echoed in the abandoned hall, her hands her full as she carried her no-longer sopping sweater and tank top. The hallways were lit well, but the light that shone under her dorm room's door showed her that it was still a reasonable time to be out. She shouldn't have worried about Octavia getting mad at her, but she did. It was a force of habit, to be honest. 

 

Testing the doorknob, she found that her room was open. She stepped in and didn't bother to lock it behind her. Octavia was nowhere to be found, which threw her for a loop. 

 

Her panic had been stalled, however, because Octavia abruptly opened the bathroom door and pointed a very menacing curling iron as a weapon. Octavia's face was priceless-- she seemed like a kitten imitating a tiger. Clarke couldn't help but laugh, she raised her hand in front of her face to cover her goofy smile. 

 

"Oh thank god it's just you," Octavia lowered the plugged-in curling iron and proceeded to do her hair. She glanced back at Clarke and then her eyes widened as if a great opportunity had struck. 

 

"Hey, I know we don't know each other very well, but I'm getting ready for a party that's around 9 pm, and you should come with me! It's gonna be me, my brother, some of my friends, and you could invite whoever you want!" Octavia said giddily. "It would be great to get to know you more, and well, coming with a group is the safest way to enter a frat party," 

 

"Um, I'm no-" Clarke began to reply. 

 

"Nope! It's been decided, you're coming with me!" 

 

Clarke raised her brow. She shook her heard, but decided to say fuck it. Classes didn't start for a couple of days so she might as well have some fun. 

 

"Okay, I guess I'm coming then," Her tone conveyed more excitement than her words did, but Octavia got the message. 

 

"Oka! Like I said, invite whoever you want. Maybe those guys who spent the night?" 

 

"Yeah, sure" 

 

"Wait," Octavia turned to face her and lowered the curling iron from her head. "You're wearing a different sweater," 

 

Octavia's tone was accusing, but Clarke had already forgotten the incident at the Ark. She looked down and then remembered. 

 

"Oh yeah, some girl spilled coffee on me but gave me a change of sweater," Clarke replied coolly. 

 

Octavia looked back to the mirror and continued, Clarke took this as her cue to--begin getting ready, she guessed. Clarke flopped onto her small bed and pulled out her phone. She waited a bit before texting Monty and Murphy, she elected not to text Raven because it might be a little bold to invite her somewhere so soon. It was somewhat hard to fathom how fast her life was moving, but she guessed that she just had to hold on and pray for the best. 

 

The party would end interestingly, but Clarke didn't know hat just yet. 

 

 

 

 


	6. i could lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a fun night out, a couple of new friends, a one night stand,-wait, what?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating! I'm sorry for the wait, but it doesn't seem as if many people are really on the edge of their seats for this so it should be fine.

_Opening her eyes, Clarke was met with a blurry, uncanny welcome. The disorientation confused her, the unfamiliar surroundings made her scramble for some semblance of memory; she frantically moved her eyes around the room anyway. Her feet were cold, they felt like pins and needles. After the first moments of panic subsided, she allowed herself to analyze her surroundings._

_Ok, this is fine, she thought. She wore an unfamiliar white tank top and-- as she moved her legs to stretch, she realized-- boxers of some kind. Ok, Clarke, calm. You're wearing a strangers clothes, and have no idea what happened last night-- for the most part. Clarke was still lying on her side but slowly shuffled to stare at the ceiling, the sound of a whirring fan capturing her attention._

_The seemingly quiet noise pounded away at her head relentlessly, a painful reminder of her decisions. The notion that she could turn towards the other side of the bed and be met with an unfamiliar face scared her, exhilarated her. Instead, she turned towards the side of the bed, and was face to face with -- a large glass of water and a, she inspected in closer, a note? It read; "Drink this, your head probably hurts." Hm, so this was either a very considerate but still questionable one-night_ stand, _or maybe Clarke had been misreading the entire situation._

_Clarke took it upon herself to begin to shift her body, she was doing some strange wiggle on the bed, so her body still lay flat, but her legs were off the bed. She lowered her legs and rose like the dead from their graves. The note crumpled in her hands as she clenched the sheets in her hands for support. Her body now upright, she heaved violently._

_Her spine cracked, her body sore in places that shouldn't have been. As she stood up, the floor wobbled underneath her feet, and she held her arms out in front of herself for balance. The room, as she failed to notice before, was pretty nice. The door was closed, probably for her comfort. Clarke glanced to the nightstand and grabbed the two inconspicuous pain pills lying pretty, shoved them into her mouth, and downed the entire glass of water in one go._

_This would be so much easier on her mind if she just_ remembe _\--_

 

Clarke had begun the night relatively calmly. She had a great evening and met Raven, a pretty nice girl. Then she came back to her dorm.

 

Octavia invited her out, Clarke invited some of her new friends.

 

Clarke took half an hour to get ready, not very long at all. She mostly just tried on different outfits, until deciding on a revealing yet tasteful dark silver-ish shorter slip dress, it reminded her of chainmail, it really was the small things that she felt powerful from. Plus, it was like, the only 'club' outfit she owned.

 

She texted Murphy, Monty, and Jasper around 10 minutes ago and all of them couldn't make it. It sucked, but Clarke didn't expect anyone to drop their jobs or other plans, so she wasn't really bothered. She had hope that they could make it, but she decided not to focus on that.

 

She would get to know Octavia better, which was great. She could also really use a drink, and dance, the stress of moving away from her mother started settling onto her shoulders and one night of relaxation through underage drinking would do the trick. Look, she's not hideously underage, she's just 19, and he knew her limits with alcohol. There would be no blacking out tonight! Nope, none at all.

 

Getting to and into the bar was a breeze, maybe it was the bags barely concealed under Clarke's eyes that decided she must be more mature. The club was dizzying, people swirled around her as though they were smoke, smoke whirled around her as if it was human. Her nose prickled with the smell of alcohol and sweat, but the visual assault on her let her completely lose herself in the loud, overwhelming music.

 

It got blurry around here, when Octavia brought them their 6th shot of some random alcohol, oh whatever, right? They all burned the same on the way down.

 

"ARE YOU HAVING FUN?" Octavia shouted over "Shots" playing in the background. Octavia swayed less in her step, her voice less loose. Clarke had crashed hard and fast, to her delight.

 

"YES! ARE YOU?" Clarke smiled with reckless abandon, her worries dripped away with her dignity, providing for an odd remedy in the morning. Clarke nodded at Octavia.

 

"YES!" Octavia replied with the same enthusiasm in kind, which only spurred Clarke on more.

 

She had ended up on the dance floor, the sweaty bodies rubbing against hers. Hands roamed her body, skin was met with skin, she was having the time of her life. What could possibly feel better than this? She danced away all the tension she held in her shoulders, her body became languid, and she shared dances with many partners. She eventually lost sight of Octavia, but she was sure that she was okay. Octavia was a big girl.

 

Everything was going smoothly, or at least it felt like it was, until she got pulled from the dance floor by a firm hand. Looking around frantically, she saw Octavia and calmed down considerably. She wasn't being assaulted, or at least not by a stranger.

 

Looking up at the arm that ruined her fun, she noticed just who it belonged to.

 

In her drunken daze, she could only imagine that this is was what gods came from. Angels, Devils, Gods; they all walk the earth, tempting the sins of the flesh, don't they?

 

Bellamy was angry, annoyed, unsatisfied. Whatever you want to call it, he stood in front of her while a blue light illuminated his face, His brows furrowed and his eyes bored. His skin looked like it's own magic; he was simply. . .intoxicating. And Clarke's inhibitions had long since been thrown to the wind, so he looked particularly hot as fuck. To be fair, nothing had changed since she saw him earlier in the morning, but now she allowed herself to care. He was hot, and that was something she was gonna have to get over. Oh wait, is his mouth moving?

 

Snapping out of her daze, she listened in onto what he was saying,

 

"--YOU HOME," he sounded sure of himself. If only Clarke knew what he had said. She looked over at Octavia and shrugged, then looked back to Bellamy.

 

"I WASN"T LISTENING TO A WORD YOU JUST SAID!" she shouted at him, her face almost hurt from how consistently she was grinning. She felt like the Cheshire cat, she felt like Alice. Lost in a world that was entirely not her own.

 

He glared at her, and he pulled her farther away from the crowd. It was quieter here, the music still apparent but they could almost speak at a normal tone in this space. Octavia trailed behind them, some tall man accompanying her. She swayed as much as Clarke now but seemed to be in a reasonable mood, unlike Clarke. Drunk Clarke flew wildly in between attitudes, but the most frequent is stupidly happy Clarke, who does what she wants and laughs for it. Clarke looked back at Bellamy, who rested is grip, but still held onto her wrist, as if she was a child who would run away at any given moment.

 

"I said, Octavia, texted me earlier to come to pick you guys up but also texted her boyfriend-" Bellamy glared at the man, apparently Octavia's boyfriend, "so I am going to take you home."

 

"..."

 

"Stop looking at me like that! Is that okay with you?"

 

"Yeah-" Clarke giggled. GIGGLED. She lifted her hand unoccupied by Bellamy and slapped it over her mouth. "Yeah, that's fine," She blushed.

 

Clarke had forgotten to notice why Bellamy said 'home' instead of dorm, but as she was being dragged by an uninvested Bellamy and she looked back to Octavia and Octavia's boyfriend, they looked awfully ready to jump each others b-... oh.

 

Clarke was being hauled by her dormmates older brother, to his place, so that her dormmate could get laid. Now that's rude.

 

The doors snapped shut behind her, and Bellamy's hand on her wrist got too hot for her liking. She snatched her wrist back, to the best of her drunken ability, and that's where her memory ended.

 

She remembers the frigid wind vaguely, and then arriving at an apartment -- _Bellamy's apartment_ \-- and then that's where it goes dark.

 

Tch.

 

 

The wood floor underneath Clarke's feet seemed to bend under her gaze. The whirring of the fan above her seemed less loud now, and yet her blood still pounded in her ears, and her mouth went dry. There was a visible bathroom in the bedroom a couple of feet in front of her, and she rushed in there. Falling into a heap in front of the toilet, she felt her jaw ache and her stomach churn. In anticipation, she pulled back her hair messily. The cold tile was comforting under her blazing skin. And then, there it was. She began heaving, violently, sporadically, heavily. She vomited her food from yesterday, and that was not much.

 

She threw up everything that could have possibly been in her stomach, and then bile rose in the back of her throat. Her stomach ached from the stress placed on it, but her mouth burned and stunk intensely. Tears escaped her eyes, probably just out of respect for her situation.

 

She dug her grave, now it was time to lie in it.

 

And then, finally, after an eternity and a half, after a weak stomach and a heavy heart, she finally stopped puking. Almost comically on-time, the door in the bedroom opened, and Clarke's eyes widened as she realized that someone, most likely the chiseled man that is Bellamy Blake, would see her directly after throwing up. God, the pungent smell of acidic puke and sweat hit her there and then.

 

She scrambled to get up, but her limbs moved through sludge, and her body barely supported her full weight. The door to the bathroom was left untouched, but she could tell someone was in the other room. In a hurry, Clarke slammed the bathroom door shut and locked it. She looked at the shower and decided that it was her only option towards redemption. She pulled off the miraculously clean tank top and boxer briefs, and only hesitated when she realized she had no fucking idea how the shower worked.

 

Who made all showers me ultra confusing if you don't already know how to use them? It's an inefficient fucking system.

 

She eventually got it, and turned the knob to the right and pulled it, so the water began to run at a high temperature. She stepped in, and scrubbed her body as vigorously as safely possible, trying to wash the embarrassment away.

 

She got out quickly and grabbed a towel, then she dried off and put on her clothes. Her hair was a mess, without the proper hair products it went frizzy and unmanageable, but at least she was clean. Her head popped out of the bathroom door, and she looked around the bedroom. It was empty, almost no sign that anyone had been in there anyways. She stepped out and breathed in, held her breath, the exhaled while relaxing her shoulders and neck. She would need whatever anxiety she had to melt away, so she could face Bellamy. Fuck, it's not like he even matters! But Clarke couldn't excuse his kindness to let her sleep in his bed, and she was probably a huge pain in the ass. So she lifted her chin, and she stepped out from the bedroom, into the unknown.

 

The first thing she noticed was the intense smell, breakfast and warm coffee drifted through the apartment. Secondly, it was pristine. What kind of guy has such a nice apartment? One that's not an asshole, Clarke hoped. There was a hallway, and it split to go to the left or to the right, and she chose right. As she walked barefoot on the creaking wood, she gazed around at the natural light that seemed to highlight the family photos on the wall. There were people she recognized, people she didn't.

 

She continued on her long trek and was met with a surprisingly pleasant image.

 

"Clarke! Hey, how's your head?" Octavia jumped up from the small kitchen table and went over to Clarke giddily.

 

"My head's fine, thanks to that Ibuprofen," Clarke smiled gently at the girl, glad that she wouldn't have to face the torment of her actions alone. Octavia nodded eagerly and pulled her to the table, where her boyfriend sat. They brushed passed Bellamy in the kitchen, and as her skin brushed his, she flushed, remembering how she oh-so-blatantly acted so smitten with him. He looked at her over his shoulders, and as their eyes met, he smiled knowingly towards her. She looked away, and her heart stuttered and stopped. She wanted so much to be unfazed, but she couldn't seem to do so.

 

"This is my boyfriend, Lincoln!" Octavia exclaimed as she dropped Clarke's hand.

 

"It's nice to formally meet you," Clarke said.

 

"You too, I hope you and Octavia had a fun time last night?" Lincoln asked. He was difficult to get a read on, like a silent and brooding typButBUt, that could be a good thing.

 

"You could say that, yeah,"

 

"OH c' mon, you're telling me you didn't have the most fun last night?' Octavia said, looking over at her with a pout.

 

"I'm saying that I woke up this morning and puked my brains out, Octavia," Clarke said bluntly.

 

At this, the apartment burst into laughter, and Clarke smiled.

 

Bellamy was a pretty good cook, as it turns out. They ate breakfast, making small talk together, with the occasional jab from Octavia and Clarke at each other. It was memorable and fun, but Octavia and Lincoln had early plans for some date. They left, and Clarke silently began to help Bellamy with the dishes. Well, it was silent, until-

 

"So, how much do you remember from last night?"

 

The abrupt question left Clarke clambering for an answer, the worst ideas of what could have happened between them rushed through her head. Fuck, had they hooked up? Did she throw herself at him? There were too many possibilities.

 

Bellamy's booming laugh interrupted her panic, and she looked at him with shock.

 

"Sorry, I know it's not nice to laugh at people, but your face was hilarious," he said between laughs. His curly hair fell in front of his eyes, just, and the light hit his eyes perfectly. At that moment, Clarke felt helpless under him, and any worries of what they did drift away.

 

She snapped back to reality and grumbled.

 

"Your face is hilarious, but like, always," Clarke retorted. It came out less confident than she had hoped, and Bellamy quirked an eyebrow at her.

 

"Sure, Princess. Whatever helps you sleep at night,"

 

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

 

"Oh, Princess? Sorry, no-can-do princess," he looked smug, and she had to redirect the conversation. The conversation fizzled out briefly, as they continued washing the dishes.

 

"I really don't remember a lot, did I embarrass myself?" Clarke asked, her voice wavering near the end of her sentence. She looked away from him, avoiding eye contact.

 

"Embarrass isn't the right word, not really. When we got back here you were kind of out of it and when I tried to give you a change of clothes, you...uh-"

 

"Oh god..."

 

"You kept throwing the clothes back at me. You may or may have not said, and I quote "I WILL NOT WEAR THE CLOTHES OF A PEASANT!"

 

"..." Clarke put down the dish in her hand, and she banged her head on the counter in front of herself.

 

"I called you Princess, you didn't like that either though,"

 

"How could this possibly get worse," Clarke spoke into the countertop.

 

"Oh Princess,-" He winked at Clarke, "it definitely can. You demanded that I called you Queen. After I gave you some water, you changed and passed out though, so I'm guessing you didn't really care about getting a crown,"

 

"I really can't believe I did that. But drunk Clarke might have the idea, maybe I'll get people to start calling me queen,"

 

"I don't doubt that Princess," Bellamy continued washing the dishes and she kept drying them. They had only just met, and yet, she already was acting a fool for him. Idiotic, that's what this was. Completely and utterly devoid of logic!

 

And yet,

 

And yet...

 


	7. i dont know much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i wish i was more sorry for taking time for myself lol but i cant write well because you know,,,school and finals 
> 
> Have fun with the new chapter!

 

 

Going back to the dorm was bittersweet.

 

Clarke was so, so tired. Bellamy's apartment was warm and inviting, it reminded her of a home. Not her home, it didn't remind her of her home, but it reminded of a home. This place was someone's sanctuary, whether it was Bellamy's or his sister's, she didn't know. As she groggily gathered her phone and keys from Bellamy's room, she rubbed her eyes. It only made her vision blurrier, she regretted wearing contacts now. As she looked at her phone, the bright light made her squint.

 

She ordered her Uber, the closest one was only 4 minutes away, which made her sigh with relief. She had a fun night and morning, she got to see more sides of Bellamy. He was soft, like the Pillsbury Doughboy, but only on the outside. Ok so maybe Clarke was stupid with infatuation, what kind of comparison is the Pillsbury Doughboy?

 

Bellamy was like the worst storm you've ever witnessed, and Clarke was sailor stranded on her boat. She choked on his laughter and breathed in his anger, exhaled his happiness. He was the worst cold she had ever experienced, shivers, nausea, and all.

 

And she couldn't stay away.

 

Her phone dinged, and she realized that she had been staring off into space with one shoe on and the other still out in the hall. She rushed out of Bellamy's door, not really looking where she was going. Her feet shuffled on the floor, and she focused on her phone. The keys jingled in her hand, and then she finally looked up, but it was too late.

 

Her head knocked against a hard chest, and her nose erupted into pain. Instead of trying to protect her ass from the hard floors, her hands covered her nose in shock.

 

Clarke shouted and groaned, her head pounded from the sudden bursts of pain.

 

She looked up and saw a panicked looking Bellamy, but they both froze when they caught each others gaze. It was unnervingly intense, in the few moments where they assessed each other, they were exposed. It should matter that much, they had just bumped into each other. But maybe it was the fact that they finally were building new perspectives of each other, there was a lot of information that they gathered yesterday and in the morning. Nevertheless, the moment ended.

 

Bellamy offered his hand to her, he smiled in a non-threatening manner, and Clarke proceeded to stand up without his help. It wasn't a conscious effort on her part, but she just didn't need his help for something so trivial.

 

It could've been the fact that the thought of touching Bellamy's skin made her heart skip a beat, made her skin sweat, made her adrenal glands go batshit. Yeah, could've been that too. It felt like that moment in high school when you kept making eye contact with your crush in class, and it was unavoidable because you guys sat across from each other, but still, every time your eyes caught it felt like you heart soared and your cheeks flushed.

 

Clark hadn't felt this way since Lexa, her last partner. Love made Clarke stupid, just pure idiot energy. Maybe she wasn't held enough as a child.

 

"Sorry, I should've been watching where I was going," Bellamy's voice was hesitant, he probably wasn't used to apologizing. Or, more likely than not, he probably was just being kind to her for Octavia's sake. As long as he wasn't an asshole, Clarke would survive.

 

"Oh no, it's fine, don't worry about it!" It was most certainly not fine, yeah sure it was partly her fault also, but Bellamy just had a particular way of getting under her skin. Her grew on her like necrotizing fasciitis, irritating and more often than not, fatal.

 

She moved around him in the doorway, which proved unnaturally tricky. The man was built, what can she say? From what she had... uh... just you know... _observed_...Bellamy had functional muscles, but that didn't stop her from admiring the flex of his arms once in a while. Look, she knows that it's not cool to judge people, and she doesn't do it creepily, but she just can admire his nice physique. Back to the door, she successfully slipped around him, only brushing him slightly with her shoulder, and she gazed around the hallway in search of her other shoe.

 

The light in the hallway blinded her for a moment as she walked towards her shoe, but it didn't bother her that much. The warmth still filled the apartment, and she relished in it until she felt a presence behind her.

 

Ignoring it, she hopped on one foot to put the other shoe on, putting her hand out to steady herself on the wall. She straightened herself out, and her hands jittered with anxiety. She rushed out of the door, her uber was waiting for her.

 

A hand tapped her shoulder. She turned.

 

She was met with warm, brown eyes, and an inviting face.

 

"Hey, get home safe. Say hi to Octavia for me, and kick Lincoln out if he's still in the dorm, will you?" Bellamy smiled and chuckled.

 

"Uh yeah, don't worry about it. Have a good day," Clarke's eyes never met his, she glanced away and picked at the skin on her hands. Her nervous tick, she never could get over that one. She turned around and darted out the front door.

 

She jogged down the steps, the morning air hit her face, and her hair whipped into her eyes. Her eyes watered, the air drying them too much. She saw her Uber immediately and practically jumped into the car.

 

There was some polite conversation between her and her driver, but nothing more than the basics. Hey, How are you, Nice weather, etc. The drive home wasn't long, only 30 minutes. She got to see more of San Francisco along the way, and she noted some interesting looking little shops. She drove past The Ark and was reminded of the energetic and sarcastic girl she met there a couple of days ago. It was probably an appropriate time to text her, not to soon or late after they had met. Clarke pulled her phone out from her back jeans pocket and noted that she should probably change her wallpaper, it was getting annoying. She opened her contacts and began writing to Raven. It was weird the first couple of tries, she deleted and retyped the message at least 5 times in like two minutes, Clarke sighed.

 

She decided on a simple message, "Hey, How are you? It's Clarke, from the coffee shop," it was good enough, it would do the job. Her thumb hovered over the blue arrow, but it a moment of confidence she pressed it and immediately shut off her phone. A million thoughts rushed through her head, what if she misinterpreted the text as Clarke hitting on her? What if she didn't respond but read it? What if..? Clarke shook her head and crossed her arms, her sigh clouded the window of the car.

 

Everything would be fine, Raven would respond, and if she didn't, that was fine too! Clarke had too much to do to be worrying about stuff like that. She would go back to her dorm, (maybe) kick out Lincoln, and make herself some tea. She would read the first chapters of her textbooks, and just relax. She had earned the right to one regular, boring night. Her social battery was drained, she closed her eyes and sunk into the seats of the moving vehicle.

 

Her ride rolled up to the front of her dorm room building, and she quickly thanked her driver before grabbing her phone and keys and hopping out of the car. It had started sprinkling, Clarke pulled her coat tighter around herself to keep herself warm. Her footsteps fell harshly against the concrete, they hallowed out her mind. She entered the building and took the stairs to her floor.

 

Coming to her dorm, her hand hesitated before she knocked, wondering if there was some etiquette to follow about this kind of situation. She hit anyway, deciding that her amazing fluffy blanket and warm tea were more important than her relationship with her dormmate. There was a tradeoff to be made, and she really wanted to be comfortable right now. Her foot jittered on the floor, and when no one answered after about a minute, she pulled out her keys. She opened the door slowly and peered in. She didn't immediately see anyone, which was a relief. She stepped in and picked at the skin on her hand in nervousness. Over on Octavia's bed, there were two suspiciously human looked lumps under the blanket, Clarke's next steps were slow and deliberate as to not wake her roommate. She pulled out a pair of thick sweatpants and an oversized sweater, then top-toed to the bathroom to change.

 

Flopping onto her bed, her tea sloshed around in her cup, and a drop splashed onto her glasses. Her vision was ok in typical situations, but because she decided she wanted to read, she put on her reading glasses. She situated herself into her bed, the blanket covering most of her legs, she sat upright with her laptop in front of her and her headphones in. Then, her phone vibrated in her pocket.

 

She pulled out her phone and looked at the message, it read: "Hey Clarke! It's Raven, sorry for not responding sooner. I know we only met recently, but I'm having a small get together with some friends tonight at my place, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over?"

 

Clarke's eyes widened, and she sputtered, it was pretty soon to be hanging out with Raven's friends right? And not only that, she had already gotten ready to stay in tonight and chill! Classes started in two days! Her pulse raised, she took a deep breath and stared at her phone some more.

 

She gathered herself, contemplating the offer. It would be cool to hang out with Raven and make some new friends, but she was also super tired and was already in bed. She looked over at Octavia's side of the room and sighed. She gazed outside the window, her campus was empty, and the rain had soaked the ground. It was calming, but strange. It felt wrong as if a place filled with so much life should not look as dreary and cold as it did.

 

She heaved herself off of her bed, the floor creaked underneath her weight. She trudged back to her dresser and pulled out some comfortable but presentable clothes, simple baggy boyfriend jeans and a less, but still oversized, sweater. She rubbed her eyes and pushed her long blonde hair away from her face. She changed into the clothes and finally responded to Raven.

 

"Sure! I'd be glad to come over and hang out, what time is good?" Clarke texted, she immediately saw the three texting dots pop up.

 

"Like around 6 should be fine!" She looked at the time on her phone, it was 4 pm now. Okay, that gave her a reasonable amount of time to recharge before going to see Raven. She couldn't cancel, because that would be offputting to Raven, or at least that's what she thought.

 

"Ok, see you then! What's the address?" Clarke texted.

 

She put down her phone and climbed back into her bed in her clothes. If she had two hours, she was gonna use them wisely, and so she queued up Netflix and watched two episodes of Shameless.

 

 

 

Raven's apartment was about 40 minutes away from campus by bus, and so Clarke was walking to the bus stop, her teeth chattered and her eyes watered from the fierce wind. She was regretting her decision to go out, but that wasn't uncommon so she would probably get over it. The bus stop was a few feet away from her, and she could see the bus rolling up in the distance. She quickened her pace and got there at the same time that the bus lowered with a hiss of air and the doors squeaked open. She hopped on and greeted the driver, she swiped her metro card, and the woman driving smiled back at her. The bus was relatively empty compared to another time of day, she shuffled to the back and sat into the seat near the second door. She deflated into the chair and rolled her neck back, and she pulled out her phone.

 

The scenery was nice, more beautiful than other 'big' cities she had been to. The houses and streets were interesting, some were pastel and others just bland colors. It was her stop in a block, so she pulled the string and waited.

 

She hopped off the bus after thanking the bus driver and oriented herself with google maps. She began walking farther down the street, it had already gotten darker outside. She walked at a faster pace, she stopped and stepped back a few feet as she realized that she had walked past the apartment. Shooting Raven a quick "I'm here," text, she waited until Raven opened the door. It was in a nice neighborhood, probably cost an arm and leg too.

 

She shivered from the cold and her nerves, and when she saw the door handle turning, she sucked in a breath of air.

 

"Hey! Come in," Raven greeted her warmly, Clarke smiled back at her.

 

"Thanks for inviting me!"

 

"Of course, the rest of the people are upstairs. It's not a huge thing, just some of my friends, follow me!" Raven waved her along, and Clarke took off her shoes with the others next to the door. She followed Raven up that stairs and turned into the bedroom. Looking into the room, she saw... she furrowed her eyebrows.

 

"Clarke????" Monty and Jasper exclaimed at the same time.

 

Clarke looked around the room in shock, out of 6 people Clarke new half of them. Monty, Jasper, and Bellamy rested on Raven's couch. She looked over to Bellamy, and they did the head jerk to each other in acknowledgment.

 

"Oh, you know Jasper and Monty?" Raven sat down onto her couch.

 

"Yeah, they slept over at my dorm after helping me settle in," Clarke moved further into the room and decided to sit cross-legged on the floor around the cushion coffee table. The carpet was comfortable but slightly scratchy.

 

"Nice! Well, obviously you know Jasper and Monty, but then we have Mbege-" she gestured to the other man sitting on the floor, "-Echo, Harper, and Bellamy," she gestured to the people as she said their names.

 

"Yeah, it's nice to meet you guys! I'm Clarke, as you've heard. Hey again, Bellamy," Clarke smiled, her nerves made her breathe shakily.

 

"Hey Clarke," Bellamy responded.

 

"You know Bellamy too?" Raven quirked an eyebrow at Clarke. Clarke looked at her feet and picked at the carpet next to her.

 

"Uh yeah, his sister is my dormmate,"

 

"Oh cool," said Raven.

 

It was silent for a few moments, the conversation fizzled out, and people went to their phones. Clarke looked down to regulate her breathing and focused on her hand as she picked at the carpet.

 

"So, you guys wanna play Monopoly?" Raven asked nonchalantly. Jasper and Monty jerked their heads to look at each other and then looked at the group.

 

"I'm not sure how much of a 'we-just-met-' friendly group game that is," Echo said, trailing off.

 

"Oh no, we have to play! Raven! Go get the board!" Harper laughed. Clarke noticed the way Monty blushed while looking at Harper, Jasper and Clarke's eyes met, and they shared a knowing look.

 

"Yeah Raven, go get the board," Mbege smiled cunningly.

 

Clarke smiled as she looked around the group, soaking up the feeling of having fun with a group like this. She didn't know all of them well yet, but they were hilarious and family-like. She definitely would crush them in Monopoly though, nothing could stop her from that.

 

 

"Let's fucking do this," Clarke said. The others looked at surprised, then they bust out laughing. 

 

"Oh you laugh now but I'll fucking beat your asses in this game, I'm a known champion," Clarke smirked. 

 

"You don't seem like the type to swear, it's a good look on you, Princess," Bellamy looked at her and smirked. 

 

"Oh fuck off, let's do this!" Clarke exclaimed. They all gathered around the ottoman as Raven went and got the board game. It was going to be a long night, Clarke smiled inwardly and whipped out her phone to text her mom. 

 

"Hey Mom, I was just updating you. I'm having a great time here, making friends, I love it here!" Clarke sent the text and put her phone down, rubbing her hands together in preparation to show these people what she was made of. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
